Our culture still coddles masculinity to the extent that the slightest step (or appearance of a step) is the direction of treating women as equals in all respects is met with applause. Men need to realize that divesting ourselves of misogyny is a lifetime’s work because our society continues to center men. We men need to realize that the reward isn’t in getting credit for being a “good guy.” The reward is a more equitable world. And the personal and cultural learning curve for that is continuous because we’re not even close.
The right thing for this dude to do if he gets all insanely jealous (or just jealous) about the people she's around or the swimsuits she's wearing is to split up with her because he can't handle it (with the statement that he can't handle it). And then don't post to the internet about it. As a more extreme example some people (male or female) are going to be able to handle dating a porn star and whole bunch of people will *not* be able to handle that (I have heard porn stars talk about this.) And obviously so - so those people shouldn't be dating porn stars (for their own good).
My ex-person didn't like my having female friends, or really any friends. Turned out that the reason she wanted to date someone possessive and jealous was because she's possessive and jealous. So that's how in worked out in the end - she married a possessive dude which was fine by me.
I have no idea who this guy is, but it sounds like he's maybe acquired a reactionary therapist, or maybe has red-pilled himself?
elm
he hasn't got to the part of therapy about missing out on the drama
I refer to this as the "I voted for Hillary" guys syndrome. They voted for her so of course they're enlightened and support women, yet they do the exact opposite.
The male ego that believes that it has “arrived” in its progressiveness can be a terrifying sight to behold. We men have to learn to accept that being a better human is a lifetime’s work and quit expecting applause.
As a retired therapist I agree with the issue of “therapy speak”. In addition to, and perhaps even more so than therapy, the internet provides much information that works as a double-edge sword. It has helped individuals attach names to their experiences that don’t feel quite right, subsequently empowering them to get the help they need. However, it has also enabled others to utilize “therapy speak” in a way that supports their own distorted behavior. Women are as guilty of this as men.
Interesting story, thanks for your post! It sounds like a manifestation of narcissism, using legit ideas of what is an "evolved" man to develop a sense of self-righteousness and lashing out ... Pasting here a quote (Malmquist): "[N]arcissistic individuals may develop an indifferent or cool exterior as an initial response to threats to their self-esteem. However, when their composure gives way, it is striking to see the intensity of their anger and their need for revenge.... [T]he trigger can be when the narcissistic individual perceives people or organizations as not living up to his or her expectations, following which the narcissistic individual perceives them as behaving badly.... Such individuals then develop a sense of self-righteous morality or take up causes to reform others, both of which reactions only thinly conceal their power-seeking needs."
Our culture still coddles masculinity to the extent that the slightest step (or appearance of a step) is the direction of treating women as equals in all respects is met with applause. Men need to realize that divesting ourselves of misogyny is a lifetime’s work because our society continues to center men. We men need to realize that the reward isn’t in getting credit for being a “good guy.” The reward is a more equitable world. And the personal and cultural learning curve for that is continuous because we’re not even close.
“We men need to realize that the reward isn’t in getting credit for being a “good guy.” The reward is a more equitable world.” i really like that 🙏
Thank you. But the reality of this frustrates me continually.
The right thing for this dude to do if he gets all insanely jealous (or just jealous) about the people she's around or the swimsuits she's wearing is to split up with her because he can't handle it (with the statement that he can't handle it). And then don't post to the internet about it. As a more extreme example some people (male or female) are going to be able to handle dating a porn star and whole bunch of people will *not* be able to handle that (I have heard porn stars talk about this.) And obviously so - so those people shouldn't be dating porn stars (for their own good).
My ex-person didn't like my having female friends, or really any friends. Turned out that the reason she wanted to date someone possessive and jealous was because she's possessive and jealous. So that's how in worked out in the end - she married a possessive dude which was fine by me.
I have no idea who this guy is, but it sounds like he's maybe acquired a reactionary therapist, or maybe has red-pilled himself?
elm
he hasn't got to the part of therapy about missing out on the drama
I wonder how many women will only realize this type of emotional abuse isn’t ok because of other people’s reactions to these leaked texts
I refer to this as the "I voted for Hillary" guys syndrome. They voted for her so of course they're enlightened and support women, yet they do the exact opposite.
The male ego that believes that it has “arrived” in its progressiveness can be a terrifying sight to behold. We men have to learn to accept that being a better human is a lifetime’s work and quit expecting applause.
As a retired therapist I agree with the issue of “therapy speak”. In addition to, and perhaps even more so than therapy, the internet provides much information that works as a double-edge sword. It has helped individuals attach names to their experiences that don’t feel quite right, subsequently empowering them to get the help they need. However, it has also enabled others to utilize “therapy speak” in a way that supports their own distorted behavior. Women are as guilty of this as men.
Interesting story, thanks for your post! It sounds like a manifestation of narcissism, using legit ideas of what is an "evolved" man to develop a sense of self-righteousness and lashing out ... Pasting here a quote (Malmquist): "[N]arcissistic individuals may develop an indifferent or cool exterior as an initial response to threats to their self-esteem. However, when their composure gives way, it is striking to see the intensity of their anger and their need for revenge.... [T]he trigger can be when the narcissistic individual perceives people or organizations as not living up to his or her expectations, following which the narcissistic individual perceives them as behaving badly.... Such individuals then develop a sense of self-righteous morality or take up causes to reform others, both of which reactions only thinly conceal their power-seeking needs."
You mean, during the trials of the family-produced FUNNY GIRL, bro wasn’t supportive there, either?