Happy Valentine’s Day, loyal Santosians. Before we get to George’s latest antics, I wanted to thank you for all the love you’ve shown this humble newsletter the past several weeks. It’s been amazing to see the community grow and to receive some truly batshit emails with your Santos theories.
[Puts on business cap] If you haven’t already, please sign up for a paid subscription! Your few bucks a month help me keep doing my independent journalism—and there’s some wild stuff still to come. Click below:
Ok, back to G.
Despite the fact that dozens of his constituents plan to show up at his district office on Wednesday to demand his removal from Congress, our boy kicked off this day of love by assuring us—YET AGAIN—that he will absolutely not, under no uncertain terms, resign from his job. Even though that’s literally all anyone wants.
Even though he’s no longer serving on any House committees, and doesn’t seem to be doing much besides dodging investigations at multiple levels of government, batting off rumors of sexual harassment and stealing puppies, Santos wants to assure his constituents that he is hard at work doing working stuff that working people do!
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